Friday, February 1, 2013

Thinking in Boy Terms

As you all know by now, we are having a boy.

While I am very excited, and I truly am, I am glad I have 20 weeks to prepare for raising a boy (well 18 now!).

I know moms of boys absolutely loving having sons and think they are the best. I know that will be me shortly :) But for right now, it is taking a little bit to really wrap my head around the idea.

First allow me to provide a little context. I have one sister, and no brothers. We were brought up alongside my twin cousins, also girls. So I mostly know what it is like to raise girls. I have a lot of boy cousins, I babysat both boys and girls, so it is not like I don't know boys and how they work in general. I have dated boys and I am married to Dylan, so I also know a bit about them from that.

But raising a boy? I don't know much about that. I realize I don't know much raising a kid at all, regardless of gender, but it will definitely be unfamiliar territory.

I know that people out there will say that the only difference between a baby boy and a baby girl is the parts. (I know people say this because I literally googled "I found out I am having a boy, now what do I do?" Just being honest here people.) While true--a baby needs the same things regardless of the gender: food, sleep and diaper changes--boys and girls really are very different more than just reproductive organs.

I read the Female Brain a couple months ago and it walks through how hormones affect the female brain from infancy through menopause and beyond. While it may be a little biased towards girls (and it is just one doctor's opinion of studies she has read and her experiences), one thing that it states is that infant girls tend to spend much more time making eye contact and studying emotions, while boys tend to take in everything else about their environment. In general boys develop differently than girls, and generally at a different pace. And I am pretty sure we all know that boys have a lot more testosterone than girls, which affects things like their sex drive. If you have spent any time with a guy, you know they have a tendency to be single-minded and focus on one thing at a time (or maybe that is just Dylan), which is good and bad.

So boys are different. While that is part of my adjustment, part of it is the fact that I won't be having a girl. Even this week I was thinking of some future scenario and said "her" in my head instead of "him." And every time I see an adorable little girl, I have to remind myself I am not having one of those right now (I see adorable little boys too and am very excited to be having one of those :) ). I am very much looking forward to our 3D ultrasound in about three and a half weeks and getting to see him again and see what he looks like.

Having a boy is actually perfectly in line with Dylan and I's ideal family plan. We want a boy and then two girls. We want a boy for the whole passing on the name thing, and mostly to have the variety of raising boys and girls. I want two girls so I can have sisters because that is absolutely my favorite and most cherished relationship. We figured an older brother is better than a younger brother and younger sisters are better than older sisters, based on our experiences.

However, I am terrified of having three boys, so part of me wanted to be having a girl so I could alleviate that fear.

Now that it has been about two and a half weeks, I am getting more and more comfortable with having a boy and really beginning to connect with him. Especially now that the little man is kicking at least a little bit every day. And I think the Darth Vader and Son book at Barnes and Noble probably helped too.

I am getting so excited for my curious wigglebug to arrive!

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