Thursday, March 27, 2014

Baby Crazy Round 2

Once your first baby gets past six months old, everyone will start asking when you plan to have another one.

Apparently most people ask this question light-hearted or jokingly, since they all seem totally shocked when we say we hope to have baby number two by or around the time Vander is two years old.

I have been totally excited and impatient for baby number two since Vander was about seven months old. Let me tell you why...

  • Vander has been an absolutely amazing baby. He has pretty much always slept well, he has always been a great eater, both with breast feeding and solid food, he is so easy going and I feel comfortable bringing him with us anywhere. I feel unbelievably lucky to have had such an easy baby. I know most of you are thinking that having one great baby is not a good reason to want to have more, since via my non-statistical sample of people with more than one child, the second child tends to be the opposite of the first child. So I should expect this next baby to never sleep, refuse to eat and generally want nothing to do with me. However, I think it is worth the risk :)
  • I truly feel like our family isn't complete yet and that I have so much more capacity to love. My life has felt so much more fun since Vander arrived and my heart has been so full of love. I feel like such a better person being a mom, like I am making a difference in the world because I created this amazing individual. The unconditional love I feel from Vander is the best feeling in the world. I just want more of that feeling for myself and my family. I feel like adding another person (or two...) to this family will add that many more connections and bonds for us to share and experience. 
  • I want Vander to have a sibling. I always knew this, but I have started thinking about how important it is for him to share and interact with others. Daycare is amazing for this, but I think it is different having a sibling. Mostly I think it is important to have a sibling for someone else to understand your parents and to connect with and depend on throughout your life. Dylan and I have been together for almost seven years now, and while he knows a lot about my parents, he will never really understand them and think of them the same as my sister and I do. Especially growing up, siblings make life much more fun. 
  • I don't want to be alone. While I always plan to have Dylan around, there is a decent chance Vander will want to move away to somewhere else (like my sister that has abandoned me relocated to Montana). I figure the more children I have, the greater the chance that at least one of them will stay nearby. Along the same lines, I know each person has their own interests and I would like to increase the chances that I have at least one kid that wants to go shop with me and at least one kid that will be a nerd like Dylan and I. 

Now all of that is fine and dandy. Most people have more than one child, so all of those reasons above are not irrational, but being baby crazy with a 9 month old is a little on the crazy side (or a lot on the crazy side depending on who you ask). So why do we want a baby sooner rather than later?

  • To have an end in sight. Dylan and I are currently planning on having three kids (depending on how number two goes. We fully reserve the right to change our minds at any time). Having one kid allows a family to be relatively mobile, but two and three kids will really limit us from vacationing, going out to eat, etc. for a good couple years. While the baby stage has definite upsides, we would like to be done with diapers and all of the downsides sooner rather than later, so having our children closer in age allows us to have some light at the end of the tunnel with three fun little ones to go run around with. This also allows up to just keep rolling through the baby stage. Since we don't really get out of it, we won't have to dread going back into it. 
  • A partner in crime for Vander. While most parenting books point out that spacing and gender make less of a difference than individual personalities, I like the idea of having my children closer together so Vander can have a playmate. 
  • Because I said so. :) As I keep telling my mom, it takes at least nine months for the next one to get here, so we need to start thinking about it before then!

While there are definitely downsides to having another baby and other downsides to having children closer in age, I feel pretty good about what Dylan and I want. Something may come up to totally change our minds, but for now, I will enjoy planning Vander's first birthday party and spending time with him before we start planning for a sibling to arrive. 

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