I Do What I Want

I want to have kids soon, as in start TTC after our one year anniversary.

Even when I am not thinking about it, it turns out that everyone else is and asks or gives their opinion on the matter.

People are totally entitled to give their opinion. Especially on my mom's side of the family (which is where I am at, in NE visiting them), everyone has their own opinion and they will let you know it.

I also recognize that we are getting married soon (68 days) and that it is natural for people to ask about kids when you are getting married.

The main reason this is bothering me is that I feel like most people are telling me to wait a good while before I have kids.

My cousin who is a year older than me and is due with her first (unplanned) baby in 2 months. She said she would have preferred to wait. My mom definitely wants me to wait, partly because she's not ready to be a grandma. My FMIL wants me to wait to because she feels there is no need to rush.

This is decision is between Dylan and I and what we feel is best timing for us and our lives to have a baby.

That's great that you guys don't want me to have a baby in a year or two, but I do.

And I am nothing is not ambitious and determined.

Obviously Dylan and I need to be on the same page (which is a battle on its own. I know he's trying to rally people to his cause to have people tell me to wait, but he's known for a LONG time that I wanted to have kids young, and since we are planning on three kids now I still don't want to be much into my 30s for #3). That is for us to work at. I am trying to make sure both he and I are in a great position financially to have a baby after our one year anniversary. I have been slowly working us towards that for a long time. Now I am working making sure Dylan will feel comfortable and as ready as he can be to have a kid come into our life in 23 months or so.

I really feel like I have made good decisions so far in my life. I think I should be good on this one. It's not like it is unplanned. I realize you can only be so planned out on a baby, but I'm doing the best I can.  I have thought about this a lot and it is still over a year away! If we really aren't ready, WE that is, both Dylan and I, are truly not ready, we will wait. We won't know until then.

So thanks for the advice, but when it comes around next year, don't say it wasn't expected.